How To Keep The Spark Alive in a Relationship

It’s fun, new and exciting at the beginning of any relationship. It seems you can’t keep your hands off each other and you always want to be around that person. But after several months and even years, that initial spark starts to burn out. You’re so used to each other that the excitement has died down and now you’re both stuck in the mundane routines of life. The longer you’re together, the more accustomed you are to each other’s habits, personalities and more, which can cause the relationship to go stale. Shams and I have been married for over 3 years now so all of this comes from a lot of trial and error.

So what do you do when the honeymoon phase is over? Just because that new and exciting phase is over doesn’t mean that your relationship is, too! You just need to keep the spark alive and here are some helpful tips on how to do that:

Have a regular date night

It’s important to continue to date your partner, even when life gets busy. This is especially true if you have kids and hardly have time for yourselves. By having a set date night schedule each month, you’ll be able to reconnect so that you can keep the relationship exciting. Go out to dinner, see a movie, go to a concert or anything else you’d like to do together to reconnect. 

Be present

It’s important that you’re present when you’re spending quality time with your partner. This means putting down the phone and other distractions so that your focus is entirely on them. Just appreciate being in each other’s company so that you can connect and rekindle that spark that you first had when you were dating. This will make your partner feel special and admired, and help bring you two closer!

It might not always be so black and white, Here’s a great tip by Tammy Shaklee ”If you’re in a bad space, step away, walk the dog, run an errand, and come back home with a better intention”. 

Have a hobby together

When life gets busy, it can be hard to try and find the time to connect. When this starts to happen, take up a hobby together! Try a cooking class or a dance class or take up some sport together so that you can both show of your competitive side! Sharing something in common with your partner will make you feel that spark again each time you’re out!

Check in each day

Even if you’re always with your partner, make it a habit to check in with them every day when you’re not with each other. Text each other throughout the day sweet messages, letting them know how much you care and love them will send the message that you’re 100% invested in keeping your bond and connection strong!

Show your appreciation 

Being grateful for everything they do and showing your appreciation for them will help you two become closer. Let them k now how they make you feel in a particular moment and always let them know how much you’re grateful for having them in your life. This will also keep the positivity up in your relationship! 

Be spontaneous

When you’re stuck in a rut, be spontaneous with each other! Try new activities together, visit new places and doing new things on a whim will up the dopamine in your brain, which is involved in your brain’s addiction pathway. This is a neurotransmitter that helps us recognize pleasure. Breaking out of your routine often will prevent your relationship from losing that spark. 

Know their Love Language

Everyone has their own love language so figuring out your partner’s will help you know what they like. Knowing how your partner likes to be loved is key to keeping things fresh.

Spend time apart

This might sound strange and counter-intuitive, but spending time without your partner sometimes is a great way to really miss them and want to be with them later. Every year we spend 2-3 weeks apart when I go visit my family back home. This definitely brings us closer.

How do you keep the spark alive in your relationship? Let me know in comments below


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